Sometimes life turns into a bitch. You get aggressive and try to wipe off your regrets, you drop the bomb on people you once loved and it turns out that it hurts them as much as it hurts you. And then, when all is forgotten and forgiven, when your decision has taken the test of time and has seemingly survived, life brings you to face it all over again.
And you have two choices, one is to stay stubborn and ignore what's coming to you and just play blind and deaf and the other one is to take the test, face it head-on and test the strength of your decisions. I chose the second path and to think of it, it was not the easy one.
My ex-girlfriend who was the only girl I have ever fallen in love with, who I had forgotten and left behind in the past as the parting experience was painful was suddenly in front of me!
I didn't know which way to go, what to do and how to be...but I guess in the end it was all JUST fine. 4 yrs ago, it was my decision to part ways and I sure can say it was not an easy decision to make and the more difficult part was conveying the decision...oh it still gives me chills when I think of the way I had to tell her and the way she had reacted. Whoa!
Whatever it was, my decision was only meant for common good.
And there she was...finding it hard to accept it as we are now...there were awkward moments of complete silence and then there was the silence breaker...the even worse awkward question..."Are you getting bored?"
Take it from me, it certainly is not easy for your mind to cope with the unsaid expectations...
Pretension is the only rescue but after a point of time, it becomes difficult even to pretend. The mind becomes a mixedbag of forceful and natural emotions and it gets difficult to choose which ones to express and which ones to hide.
"Indifference!", shouts your mind. "Respect and honor.." cries out the heart.
And the body gets confused and does not know who to respond to?
The overpractical mind? Or the ever unreasonable heart?
What was it trying to show respect to? The past?
I think the best thing to say at this time would be, "Leave the matters of the heart out of logical enquiries. You will find everything but logic."
Well, the day has ended and for some strange reason I have a splitting headache...I guess the head too is tired of the commotion inside.
:-)
And you have two choices, one is to stay stubborn and ignore what's coming to you and just play blind and deaf and the other one is to take the test, face it head-on and test the strength of your decisions. I chose the second path and to think of it, it was not the easy one.
My ex-girlfriend who was the only girl I have ever fallen in love with, who I had forgotten and left behind in the past as the parting experience was painful was suddenly in front of me!
I didn't know which way to go, what to do and how to be...but I guess in the end it was all JUST fine. 4 yrs ago, it was my decision to part ways and I sure can say it was not an easy decision to make and the more difficult part was conveying the decision...oh it still gives me chills when I think of the way I had to tell her and the way she had reacted. Whoa!
Whatever it was, my decision was only meant for common good.
And there she was...finding it hard to accept it as we are now...there were awkward moments of complete silence and then there was the silence breaker...the even worse awkward question..."Are you getting bored?"
Take it from me, it certainly is not easy for your mind to cope with the unsaid expectations...
Pretension is the only rescue but after a point of time, it becomes difficult even to pretend. The mind becomes a mixedbag of forceful and natural emotions and it gets difficult to choose which ones to express and which ones to hide.
"Indifference!", shouts your mind. "Respect and honor.." cries out the heart.
And the body gets confused and does not know who to respond to?
The overpractical mind? Or the ever unreasonable heart?
What was it trying to show respect to? The past?
I think the best thing to say at this time would be, "Leave the matters of the heart out of logical enquiries. You will find everything but logic."
Well, the day has ended and for some strange reason I have a splitting headache...I guess the head too is tired of the commotion inside.
:-)
No comments:
Post a Comment